Being Kind Gets You Nowhere. Or Does It?

You can accomplish by kindness what you cannot by force.” – Pubilius Syrus

You may have heard the saying “nice guys finish last.” People often believe that being kind means you are weak and can be easily taken advantage of.

But is this really true?

We are taught that behind every smile there is an ulterior motive.

We are suspicious and skeptical of others who are kind to us.

Kindness does not equal weakness. On the contrary, it takes a great amount of strength to be kind to someone who thinks differently than you or is slowing you down in some way.

People who perform regular acts of kindness are often more successful, have more social friends and are well liked than those who don’t.

Kindness with words and kindness with actions are both tools that God uses to soften our hearts and the hearts of others, but it usually takes a “filling up” with kindness, not a one-off kindness. It is continued kindness over time that softens us and those around us.

How kindness helps you succeed:

· Kindness increases confidence. Studies show that kindness increases your self-worth.

· People remember you when you are kind and willing to help others. It sets you apart from others.

· Kindness creates a ripple effect. One person being kind in some way spreads to others, who in turn spread kindness. Kindness is contagious, fostering more kindness.

· Kindness evokes a sense of trust. In fact, studies show that even before establishing their own credibility, leaders who are kind and project warmth are more effective than those who lead by being tough.

· Kindness bridges gaps between people. It can reach across barriers in language, gender, locality, religion and anything else that causes people to miscommunicate.

Kind Words

One day a teacher asked her students to list the names of the other students in the room on two sheets of paper, leaving a space between each name.

Then she told them to think of the nicest thing they could say about each of their classmates and write it down. It took the remainder of the class period to finish their assignment, and as the students left the room, each one handed in the papers.

That Saturday, the teacher wrote down the name of each student on a separate sheet of paper, and listed what everyone else had said about that individual.

On Monday she gave each student his or her list. Before long, the entire class was smiling. “Really?” she heard whispered. “I never knew that I meant anything to anyone!” and, “I didn’t know others liked me so much,” were most of the comments.

No one ever mentioned those papers in class again. She never knew if they discussed them after class or with their parents, but it didn’t matter. The exercise had accomplished its purpose. The students were happy with themselves and one another. That group of students moved on.

Several years later, one of the students was killed in Vietnam and his teacher attended the funeral of that special student. The church was packed with his friends. One by one those who loved him took a last walk by the coffin. The teacher was the last do so.

As she stood there, one of the soldiers who acted as pallbearer came up to her. “Were you Mark’s math teacher?” he asked. She nodded: “Yes.” Then he said: “Mark talked about you a lot.”

After the funeral, most of Mark’s former classmates went together to a luncheon. Mark’s mother and father were there, obviously waiting to speak with his teacher.

“We want to show you something,” his father said, taking a wallet out of his pocket. “They found this on Mark when he was killed. We thought you might recognize it.”

Opening the billfold, he carefully removed two worn pieces of notebook paper that had obviously been taped, folded and refolded many times. The teacher knew without looking that the papers were the ones on which she had listed all the good things each of Mark’s classmates had said about him.

“Thank you so much for doing that,” Mark’s mother said. “As you can see, Mark treasured it.”

All of Mark’s former classmates started to gather around. Charlie smiled rather sheepishly and said, “I still have my list. It’s in the top drawer of my desk at home.”

Chuck’s wife said, “Chuck asked me to put his in our wedding album.”

“I have mine too,” Marilyn said. “It’s in my diary.”

Then Vicki, another classmate, reached into her pocketbook, took out her wallet and showed her worn and frazzled list to the group. “I carry this with me at all times,” Vicki said and without batting an eyelash, she continued: “I think we all saved our lists.”

That’s when the teacher finally sat down and cried. She cried for Mark and for all his friends who would never see him again.

Tell those you love why you appreciate them while you can.

Kindness is the secret to a successful and fulfilling life. Always be kind because your actions have a bigger impact than you realize not only on you but others as well.