How Long Does It Really Take To Create A New Habit?

They say it takes 21 days to create a new habit. That’s kind of a weird idea though, isn’t it? It doesn’t take that long to form a bad habit. And sometimes no matter how hard we try it takes us a lot longer to form a new habit.

So how long does it really take to create a new habit? The answer is that it depends. It depends on your mindset and it depends on how big of a change it is from what you are doing now. If it is your habit to eat a bowl of ice cream at night and you switch from regular ice cream to a low sugar frozen yogurt version, it’s probably not going to take you very long to make that new habit. Giving up ice cream altogether though or cutting out all sugar on the other hand might take a lot longer.

When we are trying to develop a habit in our children, it is important to answer the same question. How far is the new habit away from what they are already doing?

An example might be creating a habit of putting their shoes neatly together at the front door when they come inside. If they are currently taking their shoes off at the front door and just leaving them haphazardly on the mat, you could see that putting them together near the wall would not be a huge change. If, however, they were currently wearing their shoes into the house, and leaving them on the floor of the living room, kitchen, bedroom ect., you could see that this would be a big change.

But what we really mean when we ask this “how long” question, is how long do we have to tough it out before it gets easier. Is there a light at the end of the tunnel where we don’t have to try so hard anymore? In other words, when will this new behavior become automatic? For us and/or for our child.

While it will be different from one person to the next and even from one habit to the next, there are a few things to keep in mind.

It’s easier to make a new habit than get rid of an old one. Be prepared to work a lot harder to give up checking your email every 2 minutes or snacking late at night. Be prepared for it to take longer to get you child out of the habit of slamming the door or jumping out at their sister.

Whenever possible, try to replace an old habit with a new one. For example if you’re wanting to give up coffee, brew a cup of herbal tea in the morning and throughout the day when you would usually reach for your cup of Joe. Or if you would like your child to stop dropping their clothes all over the floor put half a dozen baskets around their room (and remove a basket every couple of weeks).

A constant reminder of why you’re trying to change your behavior is also helpful. Remind yourself every day that you’re exercising so your body stays strong and you can go play with the kids or grandkids in the yard. Or put up a picture to remind you that you’re making frugal habits so you can one day purchase your dream home. Have a tangible (desirable) reward for your child to keep them motivated with their habit formation, and remind them of it often.

You can access a FREE copy of my Step-by-Step Guide to creating healthy habits with your children here.

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